Nursery Rhymes
Hush, little Baby, don’t say a word,
Momma’s gonna buy you a Mockingbird.
 
And if that mockingbird don’t sing,
Momma’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.
 
And if that diamond ring turns brass,
Momma’s gonna buy you a looking glass.
 
And if that looking glass is broke,
Momma’s gonna buy you a billy goat,
 
And if that billy goat won’t pull,
Momma’s gonna buy you a cart and a bull.
 
And if that cart and bull turn over,
Momma’s gonna buy you a dog named Rover.
 
And if that dog named Rover won’t bark,
Momma’s gonna buy you a horse and a cart.
 
And if that horse and cart fall down,
You’ll still be the sweetest little baby in town.
—————————————————————————————-
Hush little baby don’t you cry
Momma’s gonna sing you a lullaby
*******
But what happens when Momma isn’t there..
What do I do then?
What happens when Momma’s at work and the boogie man sneaks out of my closet and pounces on me like meat in the wilderness and feasts upon my flesh, disintegrates my soul
Shuts my first set of lips to muffle the screams and opens my second set of lips to insert his play thing
What do I do then?
Do I still wait for Momma’s soothing lullaby?
What happens when I’m at school, forced to wear the same jeans stained with blood, over and over and the kids finally catch on and decide to add on their signature with my blood on it and paint my eyes black as crimson tears drip down
What do I do then?
Do I still wait for Momma’s soothing lullaby?
What happens when I’m walking home and in the alley I see the boogie man, this time morphed into a three headed monster and grabs me before I get the chance to pray to God to have mercy on me and instantly transforms me into a Brooklyn bound express train until fire sparks inside of me and I burn, and burn and burn, but no one notices
What do I do then?
Do I still wait for Momma’s soothing lullaby?
No, Its time for me to take matters into my own hands
So I tie a tourniquet around my arm until my veins pop out
Then I sterilize my needle, close my eyes and stuff it in
Then I wait
Wait for the cocaine to dissipate into my blood
Flow into my brain
Give me that dopamine effect
I need to be levitated
For once, to feel like I’m at the top of the world
Driving on my highway until I crash and spin off the edge
I’m back to the bottom
I stumble into a bathroom trying to find something solid to hold onto
I manage to stand up in front of the mirror
I watch myself
I watch myself cry
I watch my teardrop stream down my face
I’m feeling heat
I never knew anger could be transformed into heat
I’m tired of watching myself
Fist to the mirror, now I see my reflection in pieces
For some reason I think it resembles me more
As I look harder into my broken reflection I see Momma
“Momma, are you listening to me? Momma?”
Hush little baby..
“Momma I can’t hush can you just listen to me for once”
Don’t say a word…
“Momma please I’ve been silent for too long I have to get this out”
Momma’s gonna buy you…
“Momma can you buy me my childhood back, if you can’t I don’t want anything”
A mockingbird…
“Momma what in the world is a mockingbird going to do for me I wouldn’t wish this on anyone”
And if that mockingbird don’t sing
“Momma I’m tired of hearing songs I need you to give me some words to repair my heart”
Momma’s gonna buy you a diamond ring
“Diamonds don’t last forever momma, & neither do you”
*********
Its a rainy day, walking through the park with my head low
Feeling the numerous drum beats in my stomach
Nothing seems to stop it so all I can do is put my hand on it and sing that song I know all too well:
“Hush little baby don’t you cry
Momma’s gonna sing you a lullaby…”
Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s