[You open your eyes to another unimpressive Monday morning. Grey daylight streaks in through your dirty window. Wiping the phlegm from your eyes, you notice a blinking red light from the desk in the corner of your room.

It’s your workstation and home to your computer.

As you sit, the cool black of the workstation’s main menu fills the screen.giphy.gif

A blinking message in the upper right corner notifies you that you have 7 unread messages.]


From: M.C.
>>To: Agent Smith
>>Subject: This is the Greetings


It’s me. Somehow my last two accounts got banned. There are dark forces at play here, working to keep us apart–never doubt that.

Too much heat on street level. Had to abandon the surface. Other than the rats nibbling at my boots, I’m alright. I’m working on reconstructing my cork board in the sewers. Without it, we are lost.

The mission is nearing completion. One week stands between us and success. Don’t get lazy on me now.

I dug up some intel for you. 

>Thursday, May 9th, 12:30-2:00PM: The English Majors’ Tea is happening in The Gold Room, SUBO. They’ll be revealing the winners of the English Awards and generally celebrating student achievements. The Junction is being released there, so come and get your copy–otherwise they’re being distributed at the English Majors’ Counseling Office at Boylan 3416.

>Thursday, May 9th, 12:30-2:00PM: Stuck in the Library is having their publication event on the 5th floor of SUBO, in the State Lounge. They’re fantastic events. Copies of their new magazine will be distributed, and stick around for an open mic.

>Monday, May 13th, 6:00-9:00PM: The Junction Function is happening in the Occidental Lounge in SUBO, on the 5th floor. Come celebrate the end of the semester at our fabulous Open Mic event. There’ll be free food. It’s the publication event for the Spring 2019 edition of The Junction.

Counter-intelligence operatives must be working hard to keep this info from you, as it’s not on the events calendar for Brooklyn College. Worry not, my friend. I’ve got your back.

Delete this message.


Counter-intelligence operatitenor.gifves are working hard to keep this information from you. It’s not on the event calendars for Brooklyn College, but don’t worry. I


Greetings Fellow Boylan Blog Readers,

Welcome to another edition of the Boylan Blog! We have just eleven days before we get to luxuriate and enjoy the Spring Recess!!! If you’re anything like me, the upcoming week long break is the only thing getting me through this semester. The due dates to research proposals and papers are coming up, and in just one month the semester will wind down with the ever excruciating Finals Week.

disgusted matilda GIF

And so before we go on panicking about how we’re going to get through this, (or maybe that’s just me, sorry for placing my anxiety onto you) let’s just focus on the fact that we get to enjoy a whole week of justified procrastination.

randycano dance happy dancing emoji GIF

Let’s also think of starting up a game plan, if you haven’t already. Here are some great tips I have gotten over the years:

  1. Creating schedules– which will outline how much work you expect to complete each day
  2. Creating sleep schedules– penciling in a bedtime is really useful in getting you that seven/eight hour sleep your body desperately needs.
  3. Meditating– Look up some breathing/meditation techniques that can help you mentally and emotionally take a pause and unwind from all of the world’s stresses.

Now let’s get onto some announcements for the week:

  • April 8: Last day for Undergraduate students to complete and submit any incomplete work to resolve Fall 2018/Winter 2019 INC grades.
  • April 8, 2:15 PM – 3:30 PM: History and Catastrophe: The Secret Archive in the Warsaw Ghetto. Historian and a child of Holocaust survivors, Professor Samuel Kassow will offer a lecture along with a screening on the documentary “Who Will Write Our History?” Located at the Woody Tanger Auditorium in the Brooklyn College Library.
  • April 8, 4:30 PM – 5:30 PM: An Actor’s Tale: Theater, Culture, and Everyday Life in Nineteenth-Century US America. Professor Amy Hughes will present on her research from her Wolfe Fellowship (2015-2016). Located at the Woody Tanger Auditorium in the Brooklyn College Library.
  • April 9, 1:00 PM – 2:00 PM: Study Abroad 1.0 – Information Session
  • April 9,  6:30 PM – 8:30 PM: Trans Activism Before, During, and After Stonewall featuring Victoria Cruz and Kai Green. Located at the Jefferson-Williams Lounge on the 4th Floor in the Student Center.
  • April 11, 1:00 PM – 2:00 PM: Afternoon Chamber Music I. Located in the Topfer Recital Hall, Room 250 Leonard & Claire Tow Center for the Performing Arts
  • April 19- 28: Spring Recess

-Justine Mekonen




Happy Monday everyone! Or more accurately, congratulations for surviving last week and every other week that passes through the semester. I always find that no matter how hard I try once the semester begins I turn into a walking zombie of sleep deprivation and malnutrition (thank you vending machines). And it is always the same culprit, PROCRASTINATION. On my recent work avoidance binge I decided to rewatch one of my favorite shows, Absolutely Fabulous. So while our lives are falling apart let’s take a look at how to be Absolutely Fabulous.


First, you are going to need an accomplice. This will enable you to fully enter a state of denial. This must be someone who is just as insane as you are if not more so. Narcissism is your friend, in this case.

Second, you must follow every name and request with either a “darling” or, for good measure, you can add in “sweetie darling.” Although these words may sound kind, when used properly, they can have a diverse array of meanings.


Third, any and all bad news must be followed up with some kind of exaggerated gesture. This can be a dramatic fall or you can also start throwing random objects. Just make sure that, whatever it is, it creates some sort of mess. This shouldn’t be too hard considering that this behavior appears to already be innate in college students (please see college library meltdowns on YouTube for more information.)


Fourth, using your friendship and narcissism you must create an impenetrable wall to criticism. This is the most important rule of all: It isn’t what they say it is what you think.


By following these steps, you should be able to persevere through any criticisms you may face whether it be from your trolling mother or responsible daughter. It doesn’t matter because you are Absolutely Fabulous!


And then when summer finally comes, you and your accomplice can ride away free of the regrets and responsibilities wrapped up in the semester (in this case it is pushing Kate Moss off a boat).


– Kate McGorry

Hey everyone! Happy sleepy Monday. I wish everyone who submitted for the English Awards good luck! (including myself)


This may not be an appropriate train of thought for a Greetings post, but I’m starting to question the value of hard work. I worked very hard last week for the English Awards. I really had my hands full. And yet, somehow, I’m bothered by the thought that I know I could have worked harder. I could have done things better. I could have done more.

I’m not a perfectionist by any means. In fact, I may very well be the opposite–I work very hard until I feel that something is “good enough.” Once it’s good enough, I stop. It’s something I’m frequently criticized for in Arts & Sciences competitions; I made a crossbow, but I didn’t finish the wood; I painted, but wasn’t very careful; I wrote for the awards, but I submitted the same short story to both short story awards.

And it’s weird, isn’t it? Because it’s not like I didn’t work hard–I did! I’m sure of it! I worked very hard for very many hours and was left with a result that I thought was good. I just balked at the idea that I may have to work very many more hours to get it “perfect.”

Is that selfish? I’ll admit it: I’m a selfish person. I’m very stingy with my time. I count the hours meticulously, I ration my minutes out, I really do.

Usually, I want to leave people with a positive message, but this Greetings is good enough, isn’t it? I’m sure there’s one in there somewhere.

Now it’s time for some ANNOUNCEMENTS~~~~!!!

  • Interested in doing research with your Professors? Working with a team of fellow undergraduates? Getting ready for graduate school? Apply for the Melon Transfer Student Research Program! For more information, visit the program’s office at 3114 Boylan.
  • Our Open Mic is on Thursday, March 14, from 12:30-2:00PM at the Woody Tanger Auditorium, on the first floor of the library! Come and perform something! Mingle with other creatives! Be a wallflower, like me! It’ll be fun.

That’s all I got! Enjoy your week.


I think the thing I wanted to do most with the intro to this week’s blog is to give you something meaningful. Some heartfelt advice from a senior student, drawn from a well of experience; a touching story about how doing schoolwork has somehow made me a better person (I think I’m worse off, actually); a funny meme wrapped in literary mumbo-jumbo. Nothing too meaningful–try to look too closely at any one thing and the fabric of the Universe has a way of unraveling. What is “funny?” What does “meaning” mean?

How about a funny anecdote?

About a year and a half ago, I was sequestered in a dark corner of the basement library. This was during the brief period where they had blissfully eliminated the social element of signing into computers, but hadn’t moved on to the better system we have now; you had to go to a big computer on the side of the room, sign in, and it would tell you which computer to go to. It must have been finals week, because I was there reading comics instead of doing actual work.

An elderly gentleman signed off of a computer behind me and began putting his things away at a reasonable pace. Enter: one extremely frazzled young woman, who had signed in at the Mother Brain and been told to go to his computer.

“Hey, are you using this computer?”

“I’m just packing up.”

“Well could you hurry up?”

The elderly gentleman gracefully packed up and left without saying a word in reply. I didn’t either, of course, though I imagined saying something about it and savored the fantasy of being a good person. About half an hour later, she cursed extremely loudly, picked up her keyboard, and slammed it into the table. Oof. I don’t think I’ve ever felt that frustrated with schoolwork, ever.

john mulaneyAt least, not outwardly. You’re supposed to bottle that up and bury it deep, deep down, not put it out there where people can see. (personal counseling 0203 James Hall)

What I’m trying to say is, it’s important to do your work, and to do it in a timely manner, but also, like, chill out a little, okay? Give yourself time to be you. Sometimes I come home after working all day and I have to really push myself to read a book for fun, or to play a video game. I just want to vegetate in a chair and not watch Gordon Ramsey. But do do that thing. You’ll feel better for it.

Here are some ANNOUNCEMENTS!

Important for English Majors:

The English Department 2019 Awards and Scholarships is here! Submit your writing and win scholarships or awards! What could be better for a writer? There’s:

  • The Bernard Grebanier Award for a sonnet written to the Italian (Petrarchan) or English (Shakespearean) pattern.
  • The Dorothy B. Jervis Award for Science Writing (awarded to undergraduate students who have submitted the best essay on a scientific subject written in language accessible to the lay reader).
  • The Ottillie Grebanier Award (annual drama award to the undergraduate who writes the best play submitted in a contest conducted by the English Department).
  • The Sam Castan Memorial Award (awarded to a graduating senior for excellence in
    journalism as demonstrated by his/her writing for campus publications).
  • The Sam Castan Memorial Award (awarded to a graduating senior for excellence in
    journalism as demonstrated by his/her writing for campus publications).
  • And more! See here for all the awards, guidelines, and regulations!

Go to the English dept., 2308 Boylan, if you want to submit your work!

Also, the Summer Literary Seminars (SLS) 2019 Writing Contests are almost here! You have 11 Days (Due by 11:59 Feb 28th) to submit to the… 

  • Fiction & Poetry Category (1st place—free airfare, tuition, & accommodations for the 2019 SLS Georgia program, and publication in Fence Magazine. Prizes for 2nd and 3rd as well!)
  • First Chapter contest (1st place—full tuition waiver for 2019 SLS Georgia program, and online publication of the winning chapter with Graywolf Press.)
  • Essay and Flash Fiction contests (1st place—full tuition waiver for the 2019 SLS Georgia program, and online publication with Scoundrel Time.)

Please keep in mind that you must pay 17$ per submission. Best of Luck! See specific guidelines here

Some events:

2/17-2/18: There’s the Blood drive, from 12:00PM-4:30PM, in that fancy truck that they have on Campus Road and Hillel Avenue.

2/17-2/23: See I WILL BE GONE by Erin Courtney at the Don Buchwald Theater!

2/21: A job search workshop at 1309 James Hall!

Enjoy that day off. Here’s to a wonderful week.


We are entering week three of classes and I know off-rip, how easily old habits die so very hard!!! Procrastination and laziness is something that many students suffer from. For most students, this part of the semester is where the “yeah, I’ll do that assignment/read later”mentality kicks in, to end up not only missing this one task, but marking the beginning of the backslide of academic purgatory. It is all fun and games until midterms come along and you have already used up your three unexcused absences.

I for one am not a saint in this department. With so much on my plate, it is easy for me to neglect reads and little one paged papers to then almost be in a state of panic after realizing how far behind I have become. I decided to youtube how to combat this horrible trait and found a video by the Youtube channel Mensutra, that gave me the READ of a lifetime. In this 16-second-short-of-8-minute video, Shwetabh Gangwar, lists to an audience about the relatable experience of procrastination and harmful patterns that stifles progression. I do not agree with him calling those who fall into this category slobs and losers however, he is spot on when it comes to the nature of people only moving when inspired to; when people are on task because the deadline for an assignment has reached the final hour, a person of authority is looming overhead or it is simply something that interests them. In theory, to become The GOAT,  you MUST HAVE DISCIPLINE!!! In three steps, Gangwar provides three steps to help you drop the gun you have been using to shoot your own foot with. Click here for the full video.

Laziness and procrastination is selective. Do not be that student who waits until early April to then try to turn the semester around. It starts from now.

And now that we have gotten that out of the way, HERE ARE SOME ANNOUNCEMENTS!!!!


–  The Learning Center of Brooklyn College is located on the first floor of Boylan Hall and offers FREE PEER TUTORING!!!! No appointments necessary.

– Personal counseling is available to Brooklyn College undergraduate and graduate students. A staff of psychologists, counselors, and social workers are available to assist you with personal issues or problems you may experience during your academic years. Emergency consultations and referrals to outside services are also provided. Workshops are offered on stress management, time management, test anxiety, etc. All services are free and confidential. No information is released without consent of the student. Initial appointments for services must be made in person. The personal counseling center is located in 0203 James Hall.


In conjunction of Black History Month, here are some amazing events to check out:

Monday February 11: Day of Divine Nine located in SUBO Penthouse (starts at 6PM)

Wednesday February 13: A Family Dinner: Black Professionals Networking Dinner located in SUBO State Lounge (Starts at 6PM)

Thursday February 14: Issa Spade: A workshop on how to play spades and other games located in SUBO Glenwood Lounge (Starts at 12PM)

Thursday February 14: Black People Meet (Speed Dating) located in SUBO Jefferson-Williams Lounge (Starts at 6PM)

Here’s to an amazing week and to changing harmful patterns.


Yoo-hoo! Hiya! Howdy-do! Hello! Hullo! Salutations! What cheer? How doust thou? Peace, friend! And Greetings to All!

Hopefully, all of you out there had a brilliant winter break filled with memorable stories and minimum attempts at solving the mystery of who gave you the flu. Some of you may have even decided to brave the cold mornings and complete a few credits during the Winter semester, while others had to work during the break. Personally, I envy those who got to simply relax and read.

Image result for high school graduation vs college memeFor some, this semester is a fresh beginning filled with high hopes, naive misconceptions, and stressful thoughts. For others – the final chapter of their undergraduate degree packed with LSATs, MCATs, graduate school application and thesis deadlines, and a gradually increasing sense of dread (Congrats to you all!).

Image result for beginning of semester memes' United by still unresolved financial aid and course registration issues, confusing syllabi and wandering classroom locations, most of us are unprepared to tackle the next semester. However, it is important to remember that everyone, including random peer mentors and professors, various offices and centers, and even other college students, such as yourselves – are all more than willing to help you settle in and clue you in on the in’s and out’s of navigating college life. And we, the writers of this blog wish to welcome you, dear reader, and offer you our assistance and support through funny memes, interesting discussions on numerous topics, our take on select news, and helpful announcements, which can be found immediately below.

If you are an aspiring writer or simply one of those people who like entering random contests:

The Bristol Short Story Prize, an annual international writing competition open to all published and unpublished, UK and non-UK based writers, is accepting entries via online or by post till the 1st of May, 2019. For full details of rules and prizes follow this link: www.bristolprize.co.uk/rules

We at the English Counselling Office are also accepting submissions from students for publication in our literary magazine – the Junction. If you are (or know of) an artist, writer, or poet interested in showing off your (their) work, please send your submissions to bczinesubmissions@gmail.com. For more information come by our office @3416 Boylan Hall.

For those of you who prefer to plan or prepare in advance –  the Open Mic this semester will be held on March 14th.

I am also happy to announce that the Writer’s Circle meets every Thursday during common hours at 12:30-1:30pm @2307 Boylan Hall.

If you are interested in any International Education programs, you should definitely visit the Study Abroad office at Brooklyn College for one of their General Information Sessions, held every Tuesday at 1p.m @1212 Boylan Hall.

You can also keep track of the Magner Center’s helpful workshops, such as the Job Search 101 Workshop, by clicking on this link or by checking out Brooklyn College’s Event Calendar (found here).

This February, check out a BC Theater Production:

Erin Courtney’s “I Will Be Gone,” directed by Christina Roussos, will be playing at the Don Buchwald Theater at the Leonard & Claire Tow Center for the Performing Arts from February 15th to February 23rd.

Tickets can be bought here. Students – 12$ with a valid I.D.

Check out this link to see a comprehensive listing of institutions with free or suggested admission prices for CUNY ID holders.

Students can also enjoy free tapings of live shows filmed all over the city by simply going to the websites of their favorite shows and checking out ticket availability and age restrictions for the taping. Shows include The Daily Show with Trevor Noah & The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.

Please be advised that Brooklyn College will be CLOSED on these days:

Tuesday, February 12;

Monday, February 18;

Lastly, other important dates to keep in mind are:

Thursday, February 7 – Last day to drop for 50% tuition refund;

Monday, February 11 – Last day for students to submit requests for change, deletion of, or declaration of a major/minor/concentration to be effective for Spring 2019;

Thursday, February 14 – Last day to drop for 25% tuition refund;

Friday, February 15 – Last day to file for Spring 2019/June 1, 2019 graduation;

Good luck to you all this semester! And remember: